Willie K.

I've come to realize journals can  bring out the worst in you...like if I was to use this thing regularely I might feel worse about myself and I really don't want that to happen. I never update this site, but not a whole lot happens I guess you could say. I'm hopefully buyign a laptop for myself today, since this computer I'm on is right in the living rooom for everyone to see me. I hope I can find somethign I liek for career because I don't want to be miserable for that kind of stuff forever. I also realized no matter how much sleep I get my eyes always hurt, I went to bed at around 2 last night and woke up at 11:30 so.. that's a good sleep but I guess not. 
      I've been kind of sick the last couple of days, and yesterday at work I almost wanted to go home but I started ot feel better after a while. I've been clearing my throat constantly and a soar throat is always good too.. but at least my headache is gone, and I can eat without feeling sick now. I feel like people like how I care for them, but I don't get the feeling like they do, even though I'm sure they do. I'm just generally nice to people even if I barely know them, since you never want to make someone feel bad about themselves, or just bad in general. I also find more people will like you if you are nice ot them, although I don't remember the last time I was mean to someone. 
    I'm kinda just saying random things right now, because thats what makes up my life I guess. Sometimes I'm loud, sometimes I'm quiet, sometimes peopel liek me as friends, other time for no reason they don't.. not really sure why things like this happen but it's life, it's unexplainable. I guess I'll just have to go with whatever happens to me and if it's not good, there's not really anything I could've done about it so, I dunno really what to say. It seems liek I'm the only boy that thinks about stuff, and doesn't just exist in life to be an asshole, having fun type guy not caring about anyone but themselves.. since that's always cool.  Honestly, it's called you for a reason.. to be whoever YOU want to be, not everyone being the same.. which would be incredibly boring if you ask me. Thank god for emos, wiggers, gangsters, nerds, sports players, etc because everyone in this world is different in their own way, I guess for me it's that I love music and would die without it, plus I try to never be mean to people, and if I ever was I never meant to be. 
    I'm still trying to find my purpose in life though, I really want to know right now what am I supposed to do right now, what is my calling in life?? Who knows. I always thought somethign music involved, or sound effect  involved too, but then again I thought about somethign video game involved too. I really don't knwo so, hopefully whatever it is I'm supposed to do will reveal itself sooner or later. I guess that's all that I want to say right now so ya..        -Limpy.

Okay so I don't really update my journal too often I guess, and I don't have a whole lot to say, because it seems like whenever I think of saying something, it's just not worth it to say for the public to see. So, as you know, I've been thinking of getting a cellphone since my good friend Ashley cant go on xbox live anymore for a couple months. :( So, I actually went to the phone store today, I had a pretty nice phone picked out but there was one problem when I went to go pay for it...I don't have any government photo I.D. lol it sucked pretty bad because I could liek see myself using that phone too. So now I'm gonna try and get my learners license lol because then I''ll have an ID, and I can buy alcohol and other important stuff too lol...life is so boring right now and it's liek repetitive but not in a good way. It almost goes like this every day: I get up, have a shower, go eat, go on computer for a bit, go off to work for 6-8 hours, then come back and go on computer for a bit again, play some guitar hero or call of duty on xbox live, go on computer for a bit again, listen to music and sometimes add more onto mp3 player, go to bed while listening to my mp3 player in bed, and pretty much that's a regular day for me...very enjoyable...The only things that change are I go hang out with Devon or Robert or my cousin Jake sometimes..but it still means my life is boring right now, like almost more than it ever has been. I just want to find a lot of things out right now that sometimes bother me so I can't do normal things right anymore...I really have no clue about career kinda stuff because the only thing I've ever truly loved my whole life is music. I listen to music around 1-5 hours every single day and it doesn't bother me one bit. I absolutely love techno, screamo/hard rock/metal/ heavy metal type music and I absolutely hate most rap with the exception of the odd GOOD rap song(good...ya not too many) I sometimes thought I'd write my own music because I love playing the guitar and it's fun and challenging too, plus I can play songs that are already famous a lot of the time, which is also fun. I also don't know what to do about other things that I'm not sure I should say on here although sometimes you feel better if you tell other people problems, which in the past has helped but I dunno anymore if it's worth it. I really don't care about sleep anymore(not that I ever did) I just don't think I use sleep that much unless I really need it. I sometimes agree with what people are saying but I never REALLy here what people are saying when I'm tired, but whatever.. It just seems like I'm never completely happy anymore, not sure why half the time but it just happens, liek if I listen to a really sad song it makes me sad too and I don't really know if that's normal but I guess you could say songs make me think of my own life and how it has it's ups and downs in it. Some songs that really make me sad are Nine Inch Nails- hurt, right where it belongs..Avenged Sevenfold- Dear God, Seize the day, Gunslinger, etc.. Even songs that are played at work really do remind me of when life was so good like it seems they only play song I rememebr from when I was about 10-12 years old, when my life was just about having fun and I had nothing to lose because I never knew of anything bad in life either. Every time I here certain songs, no matter how I'm feeling they always have the same effect.. I'm sure it happens to other peopel too but it's just something I don't want to have to deal with anymore. Wow I've been typign a long time and it's 1:26..gott get up at 8:30 but like I said: I don't care about sleep.. So I guess what my main point about this entry is that I wish life would start working out better in general right now, and that I would find out if things are meant to be, or if things happen for a reason?? Who knows.. but I sure would like to know soon here. I'm going to start updating more frequently because even if it's about nothing, it usually ends up being about something in the end. Wow I just realized I have 31 Slipknot songs on my mp3 player haha...they only have 3 cds...lol I really liek that band because it's like verry angry music that can really change your mood to better sometimes, liek if your mad at someone and they've put you down, it's a perfectly suitable band to listen to because their songs are mainly about things that they've hated in life put into music...things like how the singer never knew his father so he really got affected by it and he got angry at his father for being such a bad example and stuff like that..I dunno not that anyone really cares anyway but I just really liek the band because even in an interview they admitted that most bands try to limit the things they say in songs but Slipknot promises not to let anything they say not go into their music...like they say some of the most brutal things like "I wanna slit your throat, and fuck the wound, I wanna push my face in and feel the swoon, wanna dig inside find a little bit of me, cuz the line gets crossed when you dont come clean"..thigns like that. Wel, I guess this wraps up whats on my mind right now...and I guess you can catch me another day soon here!   -Limpy.

Well, my friend Ashley got grounded until May from xbox and computer... :( :( The thing that gets me most upset is that we actually talked every single day for the longest time. We're pretty much best friends if we lived close together, but that doesn't even mater because I already know tons of things about her and she knows tons of things about me. I know I'll get by until the day comes when she'll be back but really, it's gonna be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do...

Another thing that I was thinking is that I should get a cellphone now, because I have the money for one, and I have the people to talk to on it so why not? Well, my only concern is that I won't use a cellphone that much, but honestly I do believe I'd use one now since I have pretty much no way of reaching my best friend :( I really think I should get a cellphone now since I have more of a reason than ever to get one now. I think the main reason why I'm gonna be sad for a bit here is because Ashley is more than a friend to me, she's like a friend that you only get once in your life. We get along very well, we laugh at the same things, we even liek some of the same music. So this is why I need her! Well, I can still get messages from her when her parents are gone but hey, it's just not gonna be the same.

So, right now I'm just thinking of a bunch of things like how she was going to visit me sometime soon this year, but now we can't really talk about that until May. Also, I introduced her to a bunch of my friends in my city and she gets along with all of them pretty well too. So, it won't be just me that misses her but everyone else too. I know I can get through this but Ashley if you're reading this, I am not mad at you, I'm just very surprised that this would happen again and I am so missing you right now. :( I really think I'm gonna get a cellphone here soon then because at leas twe can talk on a regular basis if I get one. Well, that's all for now, I actually had a topic this time for once.

Miss you Ashley- Limpy.

  Well, I don't update my journal too often, and I probably should. Well, one good thing that has happened recently is my best xbox live friend Ashley is unsuspended again! :D :D We seriously get along so well it's unbelievable. :) So, we played Call of Duty 4 for a bit one night and it was pretty fun, I've been starting to play that game a lot more lately. I also got Rockband finally and let me just say it's sooo fun! I beat hard my first time through without failing a single song...so  pretty muchI own! lol I downloaded a few song packs for it like Metallica, Queens of the Stone Age, and a Weezer song, etc. The Metallica pack is sooo fun I love Metallica but its a shame I only have the guitars and not a drumset for it since Red Deer doesn't have any for some reason. 
  I know I'm mainly talking about games but really, there isn't a whole lot going on right now. I have just been working a few shifts a week and hanging out with friends and playing games..fun fun! I still need to buy some more things like an electric guitar, which my friend Devon might give me his old one and I'd still need an amp but that's not too much. I guess this just about wraps up what I gotta say. I know it's not much, but I'll actually write about something important when something big happens. Did I mention I love Avenged Sevenfold now! I've been listening to them on and off for a long time now but I picked up their newest cd at Christmas time and it's different but in a good way. :) I guess all I really want right now is for Ashley to get a job because then she can start saving for her trip here! :D I want her to visit so bad and she does too. I guess it takes time for good things to happen though. I know I won't be dissapointed when she comes though. :)
  Well, that's all folks! -Limpy.

I just wanted to update this thing but I really don't know what to say right now. My Christmas was pretty good...lots of money is always good :) I haven't spent a lot of money though because rockband is sodlout here :( All I bought is a trailer park boys season, an avenged sevenfold cd, and some microsoft points..wooptidoo! I think I'm staying at home on new years eve but my cousin is supposedly coming over and we are gonna play co-op guitar hero! :D We both are fans of the game and he used to be way better than me but since I practiced wayyy too much I can play on expert now lol. He's not bad though so it's always good to have someone beside you playing that doesn't suck for once lol! (not everyone sucks)

   I got to play my friend's electric guitar today and I was pretty happy with that, it's a lot different than my acoustic one but o well it's different in a good way. I'm wishign a bunch of things would happen right now and I know there's hope for a lto of these things but it's goign to be a long time before some of them come true..o well though i'm always around to wait forever! Playing xbox is getting mroe boring every day now..maybe it's because my friend ashley is suspended so we haven't even spoke on live since Christmas day :( O well though only about 3 more days until she can play again! :D 

   The only games I actually play anymore are guitar hero 2 and 3, halo, and call of duty. I sometimes play the ocassional arcade games as well but ya...you can only do something for so long. I'm so bored which to me happens a lot of the time and I wish somethign big would happen soon because livign life dull isn't fun, although sometimes you jsut don't feel liek doing anything and just want to sit around. I guess that covers whats going on right now(not a whole lot hey?) I will update if somethign actually happens soon.  -Limpy.